#240, Burial
APRIL FOOLS 👻
Clues it was fake:
The link to the article redirects you to The New York Times home page, not the article. Real link: https://www.theonion.com/report-more-italians-choosing-environmentally-friendly-1850087984
Searching for the article on Google will bring up its real source, The Onion, a well-known parody website.
The article was dated April 2024 which was from the future (the Journal post was posted on March 21, 2023)
Troubling and unbelievable quotes such as:
“This way, my family gets a nice meal, and I get to be part of something truly special.”
“One popular package includes a personalized inscription baked into the top layer of cheese.”
Cultures from all around the world have unique rituals of dealing with the dead. Long ago, Egyptians would mummify the dead to preserve the body and spirit for the afterlife. In Western culture, burial is most common while in Eastern culture, cremation is most often practiced. One day, some hypothesize that we’ll be able to upload our consciousness to a computer so that we may “live” eternally.
In Italy, they’ve begun to practice a completely novel method of dealing with the deceased combining an ancient tradition with modern Italian food culture. Read more about it in the article below.
Report: More Italians Choosing Environmentally Friendly Option Of Being Baked Into Burial Lasagna
By NICK CUMMINGS-BRUCE | April 2024
ROME - In a move hailed by environmentalists and carb-lovers alike, a growing number of Italians are opting to be immortalized in a delicious and sustainable way: baked into a giant lasagna.
"Traditional burials are wasteful," said Nonna Rosanna, 82, a recent lasagna-convert. "All that wood and silk? Ridiculous! This way, my family gets a nice meal, and I get to be part of something truly special."
Funeral homes across the country are reporting a surge in lasagna-related inquiries. "At first, we were skeptical," said funeral director Fabio Moretti. "But then we saw the look on people's faces tasting Nonna Ercole's fennel sausage ragu recipe. Let's just say there wasn't a dry eye in the house…or a single leftover serving."
While some religious authorities have expressed reservations about the unorthodox practice, others are surprisingly amenable. "Death is a part of life," said Father Giuseppe Donatelli. "And what better way to celebrate life than with a hearty lasagna?" Donatelli added that he was open to incorporating a blessing of the lasagna into the service.
Experts say the lasagna burial trend reflects a growing desire for eco-friendly final arrangements. "It's much more sustainable than a traditional burial," said environmental scientist Sophia Ricci. "Lasagna decomposes quickly, releasing valuable nutrients back into the soil." Ricci did however, raise concerns about potential misuse. "We don't want people cutting corners and using low-quality ingredients," she said. "This is about honoring the deceased, not creating a public health hazard."
Funeral homes are now offering a variety of lasagna burial packages, from classic meat lover's to vegetarian and gluten-free options. Prices vary depending on the size of the lasagna and the quality of the ingredients. One popular package includes a personalized inscription baked into the top layer of cheese.
"It's the perfect way to say goodbye," said Moretti. "Warm, comforting, and full of love. Just like Nonna used to make."
To complete this Journal response, address the following:
What do you think about this innovative new method of burial?
Optional Follow-up Q: Could Korea take inspiration from Italy and start dealing with the dead in a new way? How?
Comment on a peer’s response.
-Brenden Lee Teacher