#121, Describe
This week in class we discussed and practiced descriptive writing. Descriptive writing is writing that describes a person, place or thing to form a picture in the reader's mind. It appeals to all five senses (sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch). A sample is below.
Poor
Surfing is fun and exciting. I like it a lot. It is such a unique experience.
The adjectives "fun" and "exciting" are tired and general. "Unique experience" is similarly dull and overused. The author is telling the reader about surfing. The author should show the reader what surfing is.
Good
I popped out of the salty foam, my feet planted to the sticky board. My head felt like it would split apart, my smile was so big. I whooped.
The author uses descriptive verbs that create imagery in the reader's mind. The author is showing what it is like to surf.
Better
I popped up, my feet gripping the tacky board. A grin, wider than the horizon, splashed across my face. A wild power–from the ocean and from within me–foamed up as I let out a long and loony whoop.
The author uses excellent descriptive verbs. The verbs "splashed" and "foamed" create imagery and contribute to the watery description. The nouns are also specific (e.g., feet, board, grin, horizon, power, ocean, whoop) and vivid.
To complete this Journal response,
- Use descriptive writing to describe one of the photos below. Keep in mind,
- Show, don't tell!
- Try to avoid using any be verbs (am, is, are, was, were, being, been) in your writing. Instead use juicy verbs that will help the reader imagine a clear picture of your writing.
- Comment on one of your peer's responses.
-Brenden Lee Teacher
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